Tips for making friends

• Reach out. Don't always wait for someone else to make the first move. A simple "hi" and a smile go a long way. It may sound corny, but you'll be amazed at the response you'll receive when you extend a friendly greeting.
• Get involved. Join clubs that interest you; take special classes inside or outside of school. Seek out neighbourhood and community organizations and other opportunities to give service to others.
• Let people know that you're interested in them. Don't just talk about yourself; ask questions about them and their interests. Make this a habit and you'll have mastered the art of conversation. It's amazing how many people haven't yet grasped this basic social skill.
• Be a good listener. This mean looking at people while they're talking to you and genuinely paying attention to what they're saying. (A long litany of "uhhuhs" is a dead giveaway that your mind is somewhere else.)
• Risk telling people about yourself. When it feels right, let your interest and talents be known. For example, if you love science fiction and you'd like to know others who feel the same way, spread the word. If you're an expert on the history of science fiction, you might want to share your knowledge. BUT...
• Dont' be a show-off. Not everyone you meet will share your interests and abilities. (On the other hand, you shouldn't have to hide them-which you won't, once yu find people who like and appreciate you)
• Be honest. Tell the truth about yourself and your convictions. When asked for your opinion, be sincere. Friends appreciate forthrightness in each other. BUT...
• When necessary, temper your honestly with diplomacy. The truth doesn't have to hurt. It's better to say "Your new haircut is interesting" that to exclaim "You actually paid money for THAT?. There are times when frankness is anapproriate and unneccessary.
• Don't just use your friends as sounding boards for your problems and complaints. Include them in the good times, too.
• Do your share of the work. That's right, work. Any relationship takes effort. Don't always depend on your friends to make the plans and carry the weight.
• Be accepting. Not all of your friends have to think and act like you do. (Wouldn't it be boring if they did?)
• Learn to recognize the so-called friends you can do without. Some gifted kids get so lonely that they put up with anyone - including friends who aren't really friends at all. Follow tips 1-11 and this shouldn't happen to you.

When Gifted Kids don't have all the answers, by Jim Delisle & Judy Galbraith

Perfectionism vs. the Pursuit of Excellence

There is a healthy alternative to perfectionism. It's called the Pursuit of Excellence. Here are three ways in which the two differ:

1. Perfectionism means thinking less of yourself because you earned a B+ instead of a A. The pursuit of Excellence means thinking more of yourself for trying something new.
2. Perfectionism means being hard on yourself because your aren't equally talented in all sports. The Pursuit of Excellence means choosing some things you know you'll be good at -and others you know will be good for you or just plain fun.
3. Perfectionism means beating yourself up because you lost the student council election. The Pursuit of Excellence means congratulating yourself because you were nominated, and deciding to run again next year -if that's what you want.

How can you become a Pursuer of Excellence? By:

• determining the sources of your perfectionism
• reassessing your feelings about failure and success
• standing your ground against people who pressure you to be perfect
• learning ways to be easier on yourself so you're free to take risks and try new things

What other ideas do you have for pursuing excellence?

When Gifted Kids don't have all the answers, by Jim Delisle & Judy Galbraith

Ten Tips for Talking to Teachers

Are you having a problem with a class or an assignment? Can you see room for improvement in how a subject is taught? Do you have a better idea for a special project or term paper? Don't just tell your friends. Talk to the teacher!
Many students don't know how to go about doing this. The following suggestions are meant to make it easier for everyone -students and teachers-.

1. Make an appointment to meet and talk. This shows the teacher that you are serious and you have some understanding of his or her busy schedule. Tell the teacher about how much time you will need, be flexible, and don't be late.
2. If you know about other student who feel the way you do, consider approaching the teacher together. There's strength in numbers. If a teacher hears the same thing from four or five people, he or she is more likely to do something about it.
3. Think through what you want to say before you go into your meeting with the teacher. Write down your questions or concerns. Make a list of the items you want to cover. You may even want to copy your list for the teacher so both of you can consult it during you meeting. (or consider giving it to the teacher ahead of time).
4. Choose your words carefully. Example: Instead of saying, "I hate doing reports; they're boring and a waste of time," try, "Is there some other way I could satisfy this requirement? Could I do a video instead?" Strike the word "boring" from your vocabulary. it's a word that's not helpful for teachers (and might even make them mad).
5. Don't expect the teacher to do all the work of propose all the answers. Be prepared to make suggestions, offer solutions, even recommend resources. The teacher will appreciate that you took the initiative.
6. Be diplomatic, tactful, and respectful. Teachers have feelings, too. And they're more likely to be responsive if you remember that the purpose of your meeting is conversation, not confrontation.
7. Focus on what you need, not on what you think the teacher is doing wrong. The more the teacher learns about you, the more he or she will be able to help. The more defensive the teacher feels, the less he or she will want to help.
8. Don't forget to listen. Strange but true, students need practice in this essential skill. The purpose of your meeting isn't just to hear yourself talk.
9. Bring your sense of humor. Not neccesarily the joke-telling sense of humor, but the one that lets your laugh at yourself and your own misunderstanding and mistakes.
10. If you meeting isn't successful, get help from another adult. "Successful" doesn't neccesarily mean that you emerged victorious. Even if the teacher denies your request, your meeting can still be judged successful. If you had a real conversation -if you communicated openly, listened carefully, and respected each other's point of view- then congratulate yourself on a great meeting. If the air crackled with tension, the meeting fell apart, and you felt disrespected (or acted disrespectful), then it's time to bring in another adult. Suggestions: a guidance counselor, the gifted program coordinator, or another teacher you know and trust who seems likely to support you and advocate for you. Once you've found help, approach your teacher and try again.

When Gifted Kids don't have all the answers, by Jim Delisle & Judy Galbraith

Wisdom of Childhood

Relish the present,

celebrate the obvious,

ask questions ... cherish details,

think with your senses,

read with your imagination,

consult your emotions,

build on success not failure,

pretend the world is your head,

live in your body,

watch everything,

do things for no reason,

control less ... navigate more,

focus on how you see ... more than how you look,

appreciate as well as achieve,

collect tiny pleasures,

know more than you understand,

lose yourself in something,

enjoy confusion

Don't wait for reasons to be happy

By Jon Pearson / http://www.createlearning.com/

A Dozen Daily Doses of Advice to Gifted Students

1. Empower yourselfe with knowledge, love and sense of humor.
2. Ask at least a zillion questions in your lifetime.
3. Embrace change. Life is full of surprises.
4. Emotion is the key to everything. Allow yourself to feel, to get angry, to be sad.
5. Latch on to a passionate cause and never let go.
6. Write down a set of values, hang them on the wal for all to see, then be proud to live them.
7. Slow down. Don't live your life on the surface. Take time to think and reflect. There are precious details not to be missed.
8. Be a history buff. Respect those who walked this earth before you. Honor them by memorizing their poems, speeches, formulas, documents, songs and theories.
9. Be incredibly fluent in a foreign language. Try to think and feel in that language.
10. Keep a journal. Your words are who you are. Remembering is a journey the heart takes and your thoughts are the only tickets needed to ride.
11. Be spiritual. There is a greater power than you. Developing a spiritual intelligence is a life-long journey. Star now!
12. Be open and prepared to love someone -many someones. The risk is always great, but always worth it.

By Nancy Johnson-Farris / http://www.piecesoflearning.com/