Parenting a Gifted Child

Parenting a gifted child is like living in a theme park full of thrill rides. Sometimes you smile. Sometimes you gasp. Sometimes you scream. Sometimes you laugh. Sometimes you gaze in a wonder and astonishment. Sometimes you're frozen in your seat. Sometimes you're proud. And sometimes the ride is so nerve-racking, you can't do anything but cry.
Any and all of these reactions are normal, depending on your child and his development. Gifted children are an enormous challenge for parents. These children go through the same developmental stages that other children do, but not in the same way. One part of the child -the cognitive, or thinking, ability- is “older” that the other part parts of the personality. This situation is called “asynchronous development” because the child's intellect is out of “syn” with his less developed emotional, social (and sometimes physical) abilities. Asynchronous development can leave a gifted child, as well as parents or teachers, feeling stymied, frustated, baffled, puzzled, and confused.
Imagine, if you can, that you are five years old, but you can think like a fourth-grader. Where do you find your friends? The five year-olds are too inmature, and the ten-year-olds don't take you seriously. If they want you around at all, it's as sort of mascot, not as a peer. Physically, you can't do the things the fourth-graders can: you can't hit a ball very well; you have trouble riding a two-wheeler; you can't run as fast as they can. No matter how hard you try, you'll always be behind the physical and emotional curve set by your older classmates. It's like being a person who speaks only German and travels to Italy and France. You like being there, but because the language and culture are different, it's hard to be understood and to get what you need.
Gifted children are part of neither one of their so-called peer groups, and they are subject to teasing, put-downs, and ridicule from both children and adults. It's no wonder, then, that they sometimes feel “out-whack,” weird, inept, and angry. Their emotions, already exquisitely sensitivy, are exposed, raw, and tender, and their lack of emotional maturity can make their lives -and yours- a challenge at best and a nightmare at worst.
Gifted children have many wonderful, enjoyable qualities, but when those qualities are combined with emotional and social immaturity, the flip side of those same attributes can look less appealing.